The liars in the "Blamestream Media" don't want you to know about this... but there is a MIRACLE CURE to stop pain in your refrigerator RIGHT NOW!
That's right - the humble jar of MAYONNAISE in the back of the fridge could be SAVING YOUR LIFE!
Believe it or not, mayonnaise is the world's most perfect food - and a perfect cure. Most mayo brands contain only three ingredients - EGGS, OIL and VINEGAR. Each of these three items hold countless benefits for the human body THEY don't want you to know about.
Why don't they want you to know? Pharmaceutical companies make BILLIONS OF DOLLARS each year on UNNECESSARY, DANGEROUS PRESCRIPTIONS that are turning our children and loved ones into mindless zombies and drug addicts. In partnership with the "BLAMESTREAM MEDIA," the drug companies are trying to kill the messenger when it comes to the benefits of PURE, HEALTHY MAYONNAISE.
Don't take my word for it. Just read The New York Times, The Los Angeles Times, Time Magazine and USA Today!
WHY IS MAYO SO GREAT?
To understand and unlock the benefits of PURE MAYONNAISE, just take a look at the primary ingredients:
OIL: The oils used in mayo are filled with HEALTHY monounsaturated fats - THE GOOD FATS - that promote healing and mental wellness.
EGGS: Experts have called eggs a SUPERFOOD - and they're right! Eggs contain MORE CONCENTRATED PROTEIN than any food in the world! And don't forget - eggs create life. How could they NOT be good for you?
VINEGAR: This amazing liquid has been linked to reducing blood sugar, weight loss, and - you guessed it - PAIN RELIEF!
HOW DOES MAYO STOP PAIN?
The ingredients in PURE, BENEFICIAL MAYONNAISE combine in ways even science can't explain. The globule-like molecules in mayonnaise LOCK ON to pain receptors in your body and ELIMINATE PAIN with cooling comfort.
But PURE MAYONNAISE won't work as a pain cure if you just put it on your sandwich! The ratio of mayo must be much, much higher than you would normally get on your turkey sub.
WHAT DO I DO?
MAYONNAISE can be used two different ways for pain relief - orally and topically. But mayo alone won't get the job done! The miracle of MAYO must be taken to your pain receptors with the help of a delivery system. Think of it this way: Cinderella didn't make it to the ball by herself - she needed a carriage!
ORALLY: For oral use, the delivery system is BANANA. Good ol' fashioned yellow bananas contain potassium, which bonds with pain receptors and delivers the mayo where it's needed most - your aching muscles. Mix 1 tablespoon of PURE MAYONNAISE with one teaspoon of mashed banana, then consume. DO NOT MIX WITH ANYTHING ELSE and do not eat any other food or drink any liquids within 15 minutes of the dosage - this may reduce or even REVERSE the pain-relieving benefits!
TOPICALLY: Avocado - another SUPERFOOD! - is the delivery system here. Avocado is also packed with potassium, which bonds with pain receptors, but it's also loaded with VITAMIN B6. This amazing chemical is widely known by doctors and pharmacists as a topical pain reliever - but combined with the healing benefits of MAYONNAISE, the pain killing power is astounding! Just mix EQUAL PARTS mayonnaise and avocado and apply to the the skin where it hurts most. Also, the VITAMIN K in avocado makes the mixture THE PERFECT SUNSCREEN!
WARNING: AVOID MAYO WITH LEMON JUICE!
Some mass-market mayonnaise brands also use lemons or lemon juice as an ingredient. DO NOT USE THIS TYPE OF MAYONNAISE. This is very important. Lemons are TERRIBLE for you (of course, the "Blamestream Media," which is in the pocket of Big Lemon, would NEVER TELL YOU THAT!). Lemons are almost completely acidic. Everyone knows acid destroys the enamel on your teeth - JUST IMAGINE WHAT IT DOES TO YOUR BONES AND ORGANS!
There you have it, folks. Prepare for a life-changing journey as you UNLOCK THE POWER OF MAYO!